To Glaze or Not to Glaze

Glazed donuts are probably one of the most well known types of donuts in existence. There are jelly and crème filled donuts. Donuts with sprinkles, icing, and various types of extra toppings. Experts say that there are over 5,000 different types of donuts. Others say that 97% of facts on the internet are made up on the spot. But everyone can agree that glaze donuts are far superior than regular donuts. There is one question that has been baffling breakfast enthusiasts and dessert fanatics since the dawn of time. Which brand of glazed donut is worthy of the title of best glazed donut ever?


 In this competition, four brands will face off in the most vigorous tests known to science. These include, but are not limited to: length and height measuring, examination of amount of glazing, and even taste testing. Each donut will be examined and tested by my associate and I. Together, we will venture forth into the unknown and finally discover the best glazed donut of all time. All for science. Carl Sagan once said, "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." I believe it is safe to say that this is one of those things. The four brands chosen are as follow: Homecut Donuts, Donut Den, Dunkin Donuts, and Walmart brand. One of these will be crowned the world's best glazed donut. After months of intense research and countless hours wasted on Reddit, our findings may surprise any readers.

Homecut Donuts was the first to attempt the glazed donut challenge. At first glimpse, we had agreed that Homecut had minimum glazing. Not a very good first impression with the judges. We moved onward to measurements. We measured across the donut for the length measurements, and the thickness of the donut for its height measurement. Homecut measured in 10cm long and 4cm thick. After some mathematical equations, The approximate volume of Homecut is about 394.8cm³. And at a price of .82$ each, we got 4.8cm³ per penny. Homecut turned out to be the most donut per penny out of all four. Then, we ate the donut. We gave a rating on both sweetness, and how soft or chewy the donut was. On a scale of 1 to 10, (1 being bland and 10 being super sweet), we gave it a 5.5 for sweetness. It wasn't overbearing but not too bland either. For the texture, we used a similar scale, (1 being rock hard and 10 being soft as a cloud). For the texture, we gave it a 5 out of 10. Chewy but hard at the same time. Homecut proved to be an excellent contestant for world's best glazed donut, but there are 3 more to review.

Donut Den was next in line. A quick glance shows that Donut Den had more glazing than Homecut, and an appropriate description would be adequate. There was a satisfying amount of glaze. Donut Den measured in at 10.6cm long and only 3cm thick, which came out to about 235.4cm³. At .84$ a donut, the buyer would be getting 2.8cm³ per penny. Donut den was actually the smallest by these measurements. Where Donut Den lacks in quantity, it has in quality. For sweetness, Donut Den was ranked a 6.5 out of 10, higher than 2 other donuts and tied with the third. For its soft chewable texture, Donut Den was given a 6 out of 10. It was considered sweeter and softer than Homecut but not by much. Another fine example of a decent donut. 


Dunkin Donuts showed an adequate amount of glazing similar to Donut Den. Already showing promise, we moved onto measuring. We measured 9cm long and 3.5cm thick which came out to an approximate volume of 272cm³. At a cost of .89$ each, a consumer would get about 3.1cm³ per penny. After measuring, we ate them. Dunkin Donuts turned out to tie with Donut Den on sweetness with 6.5 out of 10. However, we gave it 4 out of 10 for its texture. It was the least chewy out of all the other donuts. Dunkin Donuts did not appeal to my colleague and me. Three donuts down and one more to go.

Wal-Mart isn’t known for their “heavenly” donuts. Wal-Mart is the clear underdog in this competition. Like every other competitor, we analyzed the amount of glazing Wal-Mart had. Minimum glazing and no glazing on the bottom of the donut. Is this some kind of joke? There are some business men laughing it up at how they fooled buyers into purchasing this half glazed disgrace of a donut. There was still measuring and the taste test left so maybe they can redeem themselves. Coming in at a length of 10.8cm and a thickness of 3cm, the approximate volume of Wal-Mart is 239.8cm³. It's only bigger than one other donut which was Donut Den. The only redeeming factor is that at .58$ each, a consumer would be getting 4.13cm³ per penny. After consuming this debatable donut disaster, we gave it a 4 out of 10 for sweetness. The glazing showed small signs of sweetness and was a huge disappointment. For texture, we gave a 7 out of 10. Amazingly, Wal-Mart was the softest and most chewable donut in the group. My accomplice and I were astonished. So where does this leave us?

After looking over the results, hours of debating, and randomly pulling out of a hat, we finally got our results. The argument is quality versus quantity and we chose Donut Den as the superior donut. Donut Den wins additional advertisement for their donuts. Although the smallest, it was on average the best tasting, softest, and best glazed. All this combines for the best glazed donut ever. That of course is our opinion but we did do research so that accounts for something.